Patrick's Desk

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We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

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My journal
Below are a year's worth (2002) of my journal entries. They are unedited, except that I have excluded any about my personal relationships. I'm posting these certainly not because I think my life more interesting than any others, but hopefully to connect with someone else who feels the same peaks and valleys of the journey.

Since I am not editing these entries, some explanation of what was going on in my life during 2002 is probably necessary. At the start of the year I had a burning and far-away dream of putting doing a one-man show. It's a dream that has both tugged at me and frightened me for years. I pursued that dream throughout the year. (I refer to my one-man show as my $95 story and then later as Mostly Funny, and then later as Man 1, Bank 0). I also suffered a ton of publishing rejections (possibly more than 50 for my book of stories -- something I've put my heart and soul into for seven years). At the same time though, my first book was somewhat miraculously published in French. Two big showcase opportunities came to nothing. One I bombed. The other was a personal triumph, but no sales. That's mostly what these journal entries cover, but hopefully they represent something larger: the universal things we feel when we try to reach our destiny.


1/8/2002
God gave me a gift
1/15/2002
love this quote
1/15/2002
my friend jack did
1/26/2002
State of my union:
2/26/2002
just finished my national showcase
2/27/2002
tonight i saw leguizamo
3/7/2002
wow, 24 hours away from doing Mostly Funny
3/8/2002
producer from barbara walters
3/8/2002
did it. showcased for mostly funny.
3/12/2002
grateful for:
3/14/2002
after two showcases
3/14/2002
i am tired. so tired.
3/15/2002
just got the barbara walters interview
3/29/2002
today it is hard for me to work because
3/29/2002
homeless man stopped me today by saying I looked bright
3/30/2002
i felt IT tonight.
4/7/2002
maybe i better understand my times of unhappiness now
4/7/2002
seemingly whenever i am alone and centered
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